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• set human nature free

  作者：粉核桃 发布时间：2011-08-17 22:45:39

  The Scarlet Letter is the masterpiece of the well known romantic novelist, Nathaniel Hawthorne. In this book, by describing the tragic loving story between Hester Prynne and Mr.Dimmesdale the writer tried to dig out the human nature in American Puritan society in the 17th century when people were required to behave like God in every aspect of their life. Thus, characters in The Scarlet Letter are all “type” characters, rather than realistically presented human, which are created to reflect different sides of human nature. Among them, the characteristics of the heroine Hester and the hero Mr.Dimmesdale are most impressing and convincing.

  What is human nature? It is said that human is a combination of God and devil, which means that goodness and self-discipline are forever co-existing with evil and self-indulgence deep in human’s soul. If one side of the human nature is unduly suppressed by society, the other side lurking in one’s heart will gather its power, waiting for a chance to break loose. In the book The Scarlet Letter, every person led a kind of solemn and saintly life as the puritan society and religion required. However, no matter how hard they tried to control themselves, their “sin” could still slip away. If they could accept their whole nature and set it free, they could gain a better understanding of the true meaning of life and survive. If they failed, they would be tortured severely even to death. Hester Prynne and her lover Mr.Dimmesdale respectively represented these two types of people. They yield to their desires and committed the adultery which was considered sinful at that time together, but later had different attitudes toward this event and led their life totally differently.

  The heroine, Hester Prynne, had paid a lot for the adultery because what she had done was openly acknowledged by the public who held the idea firmly that adultery was forbidden by God. She was sent to prison after she got pregnant, and was punished to wear the scarlet letter “A” on the breast of her gown. She had to live lonely with her daughter for seven years in the countryside and suffer the contempt and condemnation of people in the town. However, Hester knew that her passions, and her love, were stronger than her respect for the moral code. As she says in Chapter 17, “What we did had a consecration of its own. We felt it so! We said so to each other!” so although she did fully acknowledge her guilt, she just boldly displayed it to the world. She was trying to hide nothing, for she embroidered the letter “A” elaborately with “fantastic flourishes of gold thread” and wore it long after she could remove it. She had her own dignity, though people in the town looked down upon her, even on the scaffold when she was faced with the humiliation: “she was lady-like, too, after the manner of the feminine gentility of these days; characterized by a certain state and dignity, rather than by the delicate evanescent, and indescribable grace, which is now recognized as its indication.” It is her pride and dignity which sustained her, from that opening scene until she died, still wearing the scarlet A.

  Hester Prynne showed her true feelings to everyone in the town. To Mr.Dimmesdale, she poured her unstinting love and passion. In order to protect her lover, she would rather bear the punishment of wearing the scarlet letter and raise little Pearl on her own than disclose the name of Mr.Dimmesdale to the public. Due to her strong love she chose to stay in the town where Mr.Dimmesdale stayed, and even after he died, she still decided to return to the cottage she had lived and took up her shame—the scarlet letter again, giving up the well-off life with pearl in other place in the purpose of accompanying her lover forever. To her daughter, Hester showed not only maternal love but her respect. She always dressed the girl in bright colors, as is described in chapter5: “the children’s attire, on the other hand, was distinguished by a fanciful, or, we might rather say, a fantastic ingenuity”. Besides, unlike other mothers in those days who nurtured their children by means of physical compulsion or restraint, Hester just stood aside and permitted pearl to be swayed by her own impulse. To Mr.Chillingworth, she showed her betrayal and resistance. Having married the old physician without love, she had no regret to give up her loyalty to her husband and commit the adultery. Her resistance is clearly illustrated in her conversation with Roger Chillingworth. Faced with his threat, she tried hard to defend for Mr.Dimmesdale and strongly condemned his revenge. “There is no good for him—no good for me—no good for thee! There is no good for little Pearl! There is no path to guide us out of this dismal maze.” She clearly pointed out what would become of if he continued the revenge. To Governor Bellingham, she showed her defiance. When she heard that the governor and some leading inhabitants had designed to deprive her of her child and to make Pearl really capable of moral and religious growth, she came to the magistrate’s house and urged to teach her child herself. “See ye not, she is the scarlet letter, only capable of being loved, and so with a millionfold the power of retribution for my sin? Ye shall not take her! I will die first!” Thanks to her firm determination, she got Pearl back at last. To other people in the town, she gave her generosity and kindness. In the Chapter13 the writer writes: “Hester’s nature showed itself warm and rich; a well-spring of human tenderness, unfailing to every real demand, and in exhaustible by the largest.” Because of her helpfulness, many people refused to interpret the scarlet letter A by its original signification and instead, they regarded it as a symbol of ability and angel.

  There was no doubt that Hester had the “evil” side in her nature at least according to the moral standard of that society. She got married precipitately with a man she didn’t love, and then broke the rule by committed adultery with a preacher because she her desire for love. Yet when her sin was disclosed she didn’t make an attempt to deny it or to escape her punishment. Instead, she learned from her sin, and grew stronger by accepting her punishment. With seven years’ loneliness and suffering, her life had turned from passion to thought. She formed an ambiguous idea of feminism gradually and began to think about the defects of the whole system of society, and it was according to her instinctive principles that she decided she, Dimmesdale, and Pearl should flee to Europe.

  In a society cherishing the rigid order of principles in religion, Hester was special not only because she wore the scarlet A but also because she accepted her hidden nature and showed her true self to everyone. By setting her soul free she learned about the essence of society and developed an understanding of a sort of “natural law”. Although it was impossible to realize her dream, she had finally won the respect of people in the town. Her tragedy was caused by society and weakness of her lover, and she had saved herself.

  Compared with Hester Prynne who had courage to admit her sin and bear her suffering, Arthur Dimmesdale seemed much weaker to face his whole nature. The two sides of his nature could not stop conflicting against each other until he was tortured to death.

  Reverend Dimmesdale was perfect and likely to become the most popular pastor in the town in public and in everyone’s heart. Coming from one of the great English universities, he appeared to be talented and knowledgeable with an air of gentility and solemnity. People fancied him the mouth piece of Heaven’s massages of wisdom, and rebuke, and love. Although he was educated to be devoted to his religion and required to behave like God, he was still a man with flesh and blood, and could not resist the temptation of natural human desire. Finally, he violated his belief and the rules of his religion. During those seven years when Hester was suffering the humiliation brought by the scarlet letter, he was still worshiped by others. However, the more respect he received, the more painful he felt, just as Hawthorne wrote: “It is inconceivable, the agony with which this public veneration tortured him!” It was his genuine impulse to adore the truth, and to reckon all things shadow-like, and utterly devoid of weight or value, that didn’t have its divine essence as life within their life, but having committed the adultery he thought he was guilty and sinful. Many times he wanted to speak his sin out, but he dared not because the nearly hysterical fear he felt when he imagined his congregation seeing him on the scaffold was a remainder that he had not only himself but also his flock to consider. His public disgrace could harden his followers, or even lead them to astray. So he strove to put a cheat upon himself, but gained only another sin, and a self-acknowledged shame without the momentary relief of being self-deceived. He loved the truth and loathed the lie, but because of his fear he had to lie. In such a dilemma he could only hate his miserable self and make himself stuck in the anguish of his soul.

  Since Hester was forced to wear the scarlet letter, the same letter had also been graved in his heart. It was sure that Dimmesdale loved Hester, but his education and religion told him that this kind of love was guilty. That’s the reason why he was so afraid to speak out his love and admit what he had done. As love and desire was true nature owned by every one, no matter how hard he tried to restrain he still longed for them. In the daytime he went to the pulpit and delivered God’s message to people who admired him, while at night he wandered on the scaffold or in the dark forest, confessing his love to Hester and his daughter Pearl. Seeing Hester suffer alone for the sin which he committed with her, he felt sorry and tried best to help her, while in the public he had to pretend to be as indifferent as others to the miserable mother and daughter. Struggling between natural human love and his mission as a clergyman, his sense of guilt and pain was increased.

  Suffering from body disease, and gnawed and tortured by some black trouble of the soul, Dimmesdale did make efforts to purify himself or to relief himself. According to what he said to Chillingworth “It’s much better for suffer to be free to show his pain, as this poor woman Hester is, than cover it all up in his heart”, he would like to lead a life like Hester’s. And during seven years’ physical and psychological torture, his acute awareness of the dichotomy between his public image and his private self led him to new levels of insight, enabling his preaching to become even more powerful and persuasive. He understood that the worst consequence of sin is separation from one’s fellow man rather than separation from God. However, though Dimmesdale saw the dangers of formulaic reductions in society and distortions of reality, he does little to overturn them, because he was too weak and coward to rebel his religion and totally be himself as a human being. Finally, he chose death as the ending of the struggle between the two sides of himself, confession what he thought was sinful and resisting to face the consequence.

  The difference between the heroine and hero in this novel was that Hester could literally wear her pain on her chest, while Dimmesdale’s pain remained locked inside his body; Hester felt shame because of the community’s disapproval of her, while Dimmesdale suffered from guilt, which was the product of an internalized self-disapproval and thus was more toxic. Both of them had learnt something from their respective suffering of the adultery, Dimmesdale never fully recognized the truth of what Hester had learned: individuality and strength are gained by quiet self-assertion and by a reconfiguration, not a rejection of one’s assigned identity; Hester erased her guilt by showing her whole self to the world, while Dimmesdale could only die with the scarlet letter in his breast because of his self-denial.

  In that puritan society which emphasized goodness while denied people’s desire as was described in this novel, the tragedy of the love between Hester and Dimmesdale was inevitable. Influenced by religion and education, there must be much more Dimmesdales than Hesters. People who are not able to admit the whole themselves and set their souls free can never get happiness they want. This is the reason why the world in The Scarlet Letter is always dim and gloomy. Through the tragedy and the dark world Hawthorne has indirectly but clearly expressed his heart-felt wishes— to break away from the manacle of religion and chain of rigid principles and set human nature free!

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• 读书笔记

  作者：鹰派分子 发布时间：2014-02-14 11:56:45

  初见秦

  一

  此篇乃韩非为见到秦王所做的上书，基本框架是：

  （一）开门见山，点破主题

  （二）讨论当前的国际形势

      1，各国意图与动向

      2，敌我各种因素的对比

      3，结论：秦国错失良机

  （三）以实例说明秦国军国大事失误之处

      1，举三个例子说明军事行动未达全功的失败之处

      2，举三个例子说明军事行动大有可为之处

      3，说明军事和政治的辩证关系

  （四）举古以明理，说今以成策

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• 如果在25岁读到这本书就好了❗️含金量太高❗️

  作者：小米爱读书 发布时间：2023-11-15 08:19:05

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• 奈何轻议六朝——读《六朝文絜笺注》

  作者：后浪 发布时间：2019-08-26 09:45:11

  

  《六朝文絜笺注》

  在

  《小品文的危机》

  中，鲁迅说过这样一段话：

  然而对于文学上的“小摆设”——“小品文”的要求，却正在越加旺盛起来，要求者以为可以靠着低诉或微吟，将粗犷的人心，磨得渐渐的平滑。这就是想别人一心看着《六朝文絜》，而忘记了自己是抱在黄河决口之后，淹得仅仅漏出水面的树梢头。

  在这篇文章中，鲁迅旗帜鲜明地反对了林语堂等提倡的那种“冲淡闲适，抒写灵性”的小品文。而在这段话的语境下，《六朝文絜》也成为了“低诉或微吟”的载体，成为了作为“小摆设”的“小品文”的近戚，是鲁迅笔下矛头所指的对象。我们固然认可鲁迅在危机的年代破旧立新的大胆表态，但由此表现出的对六朝文章的成见，却是

  颇可追迹

  的。

  因为讲究对偶、辞藻、用典和声律，以骈文为代表的六朝文章在文学史上以“竞争一韵之奇,追逐一字之巧”（隋李谔语）而闻名，对于它的推崇者与批评者也层出不穷，

  推崇者认为

  六朝骈文“残膏胜馥，沾溉无穷”（《四库总目》），

  批评者则认为

  它“词尚轻险，情多哀思”，甚至斥其为“亡国之音”（唐魏徵语）。到了清代乾嘉时期，因为桐城派的兴起，对六朝骈文的认识矛盾在所谓的骈散之争又达到了新的高潮，姚鼐“恶其靡”（《古文辞类纂序》），方苞“卑视六朝，有如奴隶”（清刘大櫆《祭望溪先生文》）。与此针锋相对，凌廷堪认为古文“谓为文章之别派则可，谓为文章之正宗则不可也”（《书唐文粹后》），阮元也讽刺古文“乃古之笔，非古之文也”（《文韵说》）。

  在这种背景下，嘉庆道光年间，

  许梿积二十年之功编选评点的《六朝文絜》成书了

  。

  许梿在道光五年为《六朝文絜》写的序中，曾深情地回忆起少年时代接触六朝文章的场景：那时不过舞勺之年（13-15岁）的他尚受教私塾，却对徐陵、庾信等六朝文人的文章产生了浓厚的兴趣，但老师的态度却是非常决绝——坚决抵制六朝文章并拒绝让他阅读，而年轻的许梿却在夜晚的时候偷偷地挑灯记诵，尽管当时的他在阅读六朝文章时还有如同“贻盲者镜，予蹩者履”的迷茫。大概当时吸引他的是圆转的音律与华美的辞藻，对其典故内容倒是不甚明白。但在年月的积累下，他读得越来越深入，恍然理解了六朝文章前绍汉魏、后启唐代的重要意义

  。此后二十年，他简选文章，自加评点，四易其稿，在39岁的那一年出版了这本《六朝文絜》。

  何谓“文絜”？

  许梿自称从刘勰的观点出发，

  以“析词尚絜”为审美标准，倡导文章的简洁，故以“文絜”名书。

  但这又导致了一个表面上的悖论：以“繁冗”著称的六朝骈文，又何来简洁之说呢？许梿解释文章的核心在于镕裁，

  只要镕裁得当，就能够突显文骨之“絜”

  ，而外在的相对繁冗，则是不足为虑的。这就很显出一个作文的“度”，即便是以“繁冗”著称的六朝骈文，在真正优秀的作品那里，都有提炼词句的“镕裁”，而那些用典对偶，也都是在可控的范围内用以表达文章核心的“絜”，是貌“繁”而实“絜”。这就如同《论语》中子贡所说的“文犹质也,质犹文也”（《颜渊》），而后人一概以浮华繁冗视之，是对文学之“絜”的片面理解，更是对六朝文学的不尊重。

  所以从破除对六朝骈文的成见出发，许梿发出“奈何轻议六朝”（页八二）的感慨，

  也就不足为奇了，而对六朝骈文认识的拨乱反正也贯穿始终，成为许氏评点全书的暗线。

  我们可以从两个人物的选文中来理解许梿的意旨与用心。一个是庾信，一个是陈后主。

  庾信作为南北朝后期集大成式的文学大家，他的创作代表着六朝文学的最高峰，各体文章都堪为六朝文学的典范，同时本身也是六朝文人中备受争议的人物。许梿毫不掩饰自己对庾信的推崇，在《文絜》所收录的72篇文章中，

  庾信的作品就收有13篇，居全书之冠。

  在卷一的赋类文章中，就收录了庾信的《小园赋》《春赋》《灯赋》《对烛赋》四篇。在《小园赋》的评点中，许梿怒斥唐人作史时对庾信的贬低，高度评价了庾信的文章：

  “骈语至兰成所谓采不滞骨，隽而靡絜，余子只蝇鸣蚓窍耳。乃唐令狐德棻等譔信本传，诋为淫放轻险，词赋罪人，何愚不自量至此。诗家如少陵，且极推重，况模范是出者，安得不頫首邪。”（页四一评语）

  这段评语也是从对六朝骈文“繁冗”的成见的批评来着手，对庾信及六朝文章作了辩护，所谓“采不滞骨，隽而靡絜”，即我们前文所说的，在可控的范围内，以高超的文学技巧，将文章的“貌繁实絜”达到了顶峰。我们捡拾文句，来看许氏阅读的心得：

  藏狸并窟，乳鹊重巢。连珠细菌，长柄寒匏。可以疗饥，可以栖迟，㩻䧢兮狭室，穿漏兮茅茨。檐直倚而妨帽，户平行而碍眉。坐帐无鹤，支床有龟。（《小园赋》，页四一）

  许评：极意修饰，而仍不黏滞。此境惟兰成独擅。（页四二）

  天河渐没，日轮将起。燕噪吴王，乌惊御史。（《镜赋》，页六四）

  许评：选声鍊色，此造极巅。吾于子山，无复遗恨矣。（页六四）

  第一段是《小园赋》中庾信对自己的“数亩敝庐”的实景描写，这五句话倪璠加注五条，涉及《论语》《庄子》《淮南子》《世说新语》《高士传》《诗经》《神仙传》《史记》等等，虽有大量故实及词句的修饰，却饶有工整的美感与流转的音律，且由远及近，由外而内，富于层次的递进，故没有堆砌拖沓的感觉，

  许梿以“极意修饰，而仍不黏滞”评价，呼应前面所称“采不滞骨，隽而靡絜”，是很准确的

  。第二段是《镜赋》寥寥数字，前在视觉上描摹辽远天色，由昏及昼的流动时刻，后以典故写燕乌叫噪，以听觉烘托早晨光景，所谓“选声鍊色，此造极巅”者也。所谓“此境惟兰成独擅”、“吾于子山，无复遗恨矣”，则是对庾信极大的推崇与偏爱了。

  嗟乎！龙盘虎踞之地，露草衣；千门双阙之间，风烟歇绝。临江离别之感，赴洛呜咽之悲。五百里之俘囚，累累不绝；三百年之王气，寂寂长空。一国为一人兴，前贤以後愚灭，其来尚矣。（唐朱敬则《陈后主论》）

  作为南朝二百多年来最彻底的亡国之君，和历史上大多数末代君主一样，陈后主也饱受抨击，被奉为荒淫误国的典范。然而在统治上，在奇葩君主层出不穷的南朝，他远远不是最荒淫暴戾的那一个。只是在国力衰弱、王气已收的年代，他并没有力挽狂澜罢了。在文化修养上，即便在整个中国皇帝队伍中，陈后主也并不在平均线下，甚至不失为颇有水平的文学家。这也让魏徵不由得感慨，“古人有言，亡国之主，多有才艺，考之梁、陈及隋，信非虚论”。但无论如何，陈后主作为亡国之君毕竟还是被史书钉在了耻辱柱上。由此出发，他的才华被否定，他的爱士被轻视，他所创作的《玉树后庭花》，更被视为亡国之音的代名词。可以说，自古对六朝骈文所进行意识形态高度的激烈批评，陈后主叔宝毫无疑问地处于首当其冲的位置，成为六朝骈文在统治文化失去话语权的关键人物。

  

  《六朝文絜笺注》内封

  在《六朝文絜》中，许梿选了陈后主的《与詹事江总书》。彼时陈叔宝还不是后主，没有末世统治的压抑，没有亡国失土的指责，只是个好学爱才、风评甚好的皇太子，不久前刚让僚属陆瑜抄撰群书，来为自己提供学习子集的读本，陆瑜却突然去世，陈叔宝便给太子詹事江总写了这封书信，极言自己悲伤悼念及惜才爱士之情，读之令人扼腕：

  管记陆瑜，奄然殂化，悲伤悼惜，此情何已！吾生平爱好，卿等所悉。自以学涉儒雅，不逮古人，钦贤慕士，是情尤笃。梁室乱离，天下糜沸。书史残缺，礼乐崩沦。晚生后学，匪无墙面，卓尔出群，斯人而已。（页一六二）

  对于文章，他更是表达了自己发自肺腑的喜爱与自得其乐的欢欣：

  吾监抚之暇，事隙之辰，颇用谈笑娱情，琴樽间作。雅篇艳什，迭互锋起。每清风朗月，美景良辰，对群山之参差，望巨波之滉瀁。或玩新花，时观落叶；既听春鸟，又聆秋雁。未尝不促膝举觞，连情发藻。且代琢磨，间以嘲谑。俱怡耳目，并留情致。（页一六二）

  许氏评这一段时颇不吝其赞美：“直抒胸臆，全不雕琢。由气格清华，故无一字生涩。”最后引导自己与读者跳出政治正统观念，去真正地认识后主与“亡国之音”无关的才华：“不图亡主竟获如此佳文。我斥其人，我不能不怜其才也。”（页一六二）在文章的最后，陈叔宝重新呼应了首段对陆瑜甚至是所有英年早逝之文人的悲恨。在这里陈叔宝不仅仅是把陆瑜当朋友，把江总当朋友，也是把文学当朋友，把所有有才华的文人当朋友。而在对这一段点评中，许梿写下“情哀理感能令铁石人动心” （同上）几字，算是在读者面前洗去偏见，完成了自己对后主黑转粉的过程。而作为读者的我们，也难免在许梿的评点中对陈叔宝而不是陈后主，对六朝文章而不是亡国之音，能或多或少地进行一些“奈何轻议六朝”的反思。

  至于我们文中反复提及的这句“奈何轻议六朝”，出自《文絜》页八二宋武帝《与臧焘敕》的评点中。在这里，许梿盛赞这篇诰敕之文，并指出了

  六朝文学创作实践的最高标准

  ：“丽诏能朴，隽语能淳。忘其骈偶。”能使人忘记创作的形式上的华美或简朴、忘记创作体制上是诰敕或诗赋，直指心灵，这才是最高水准的创作。而六朝仅仅拿出这篇简简单单的敕文就达到了许梿心目中的这种水平，他由此发出了这一感叹——

  “诰敕之文如此，奈何轻议六朝”。可见许梿对六朝文章的推崇。

  最后我们再提一下文章开头的鲁迅，其实鲁迅本人应该是很爱读《六朝文絜》的，周作人说他“一般六朝文他也喜欢，这可以一册简要的选本《六朝文絜》为代表”（周作人《鲁迅的青年时代》），从《鲁迅手迹和藏书目录》中，我们也能找到他有两部《六朝文絜》。所以鲁迅向来矫枉过正的脾性也同样体现在对《六朝文絜》的态度上，我们也要提防掉到坑里。

  文：付英超

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• 让教孩子变的更容易

  作者：秋 发布时间：2018-08-15 22:19:46

  《教养的秘密》是儿童发展医学专家王宏哲的亲子教育书籍，看到书名，其实是有些迷惑的，因为教养两个字在不同的语境含义是不一样的。如果作为一个名词来说，教养就是表现在行为方式中的道德修养状况，尤其是指在家庭中从小养成的行为的道德水准。而如果作为动词，那么就是教育，养育的意思，而在本文中就是作为动词，指的就是教育养育孩子，作者也指出没有难教的孩子，只有不懂得教育孩子的家长，这样的言论让很多家长陷入深深的思考。

  本书的作者王宏哲是一位儿童发展医学专家，作者毕业于长庚大学医学院，也是中国台湾阳明大学医学院脑科学研究所博士，还是台湾大学医学院临床讲师，并且担任台北市社会局儿童发展顾问。作者还创办天才领袖亲子网，现任天才领袖教育集团行政总裁。除了教育研究教育之外，作者还出版了多部作品，受到读者的关注和喜爱，本书就是作者的一本代表作。

  书中共分为六个章节来讲述孩子成长中出现的一系列问题 ，并且详细的就每一个环节展开叙述，把生活中孩子们经常出现的教育问题，一一作出解答，图文并貌的叙述，使得讲解更加直观立体。作者经常是在一个章节中，自己先提出一个观点问题，然后自己去详细的讲述，而这些问题观点都是生活中经常出现频率最多，具有共性的问题，也是家长们在教育孩子的时候，最容易产生困惑，分歧的地方。作者通过详细的讲述，让家长们能够有一个系统的了解，再教育孩子的时候，有一个清晰的思路，不会在迷茫，知道怎样针对孩子的状态选择最适合的方法。

  六个章节讲述了六个秘密，而第一个章节就是本书的标题，教养的秘密，可见这是重中之重，作者认为教育孩子要从小做起，所谓十年树木，百年育人，可见教育的难度，反过来，其实种树育人也有相通之处，就是都要从小抓起，小树苗小的时候，及时的修剪，可以让它成长的更加茁壮，而且还能够成材长成参天大树，如果不去管理修剪，任其自由生长，会横生枝杈，并且畸形的概率很高，成为废品。等它长大甚至长成之后，再去修理，难度增加，并且容易对于树木产生伤害。而人作为自然界的一部分，和自然界的动植物也是有共性的，所以孩子的教育要从小做起。

  互动是现在比较流行的一种说法，作者也是把这样的方式用在了教育孩子方面，让家长采用这种方式来调动孩子的积极性，参与进来。孩子的行为很多的时候是无意识的，而有一些行为是好奇，也是在成长过程中的一种探索，对于这样的行为要正确的引导，让孩子对于自己的行为有一个正确的认识，进而知道该如何养成良好的行为习惯。孩子的健康，也是家长们非常重视的一个问题，病从口入，其实很多问题都来自吃，人类在生长的过程中，意识思维会越来越占据主导地位，而这样人的本能，自然意识就会被压抑，而孩子阶段，是自然本能最强烈的时期，这个时期孩子的一些习惯，应该更适合自然界，吃饭也是同理，所以不要过于逼迫孩子吃饭。发展学习是孩子成长过程中的一个重要阶段，在这个阶段要根据孩子的实际情况有针对性的引导孩子，其实父母是孩子最好的老师，需要耐心细致的观察，发现孩子的问题，然后找到适合的方法。

  《教养的秘密》是一本非常不错的亲子教育书，作者在教育孩子方面有着独到的经验，书中图文并貌直观立体，作者问答的方式，更能引起读者的注意，只要读者认真阅读本书，仔细思考，感悟，相信对于你教育孩子会有一定的帮助。

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